sleeping

I slept a really long time today. I had to get lab work done and so i had to get up really early, but because of talking to my Sir I was up late, and then I couldn't sleep. I came back and slept for 5 more hours. I miss him and I want to talk to him.


I saw pictures of my crazy Cancer ex #2, and he looks so good. I suppose I should give him some sort of nickname. Cheshire Cat, I guess. Because he was a rabbit hole I went down because I was curious. And he was nice and charming and confusing and disappeared when I needed more help and left me all alone...but that smile lingers. So mutable. I suppose I shouldn't date a Cancer again. I think I need more stability than that.

I'm in a body-image crisis and I can't stand how I look.

Just all these things adding up again and I just....have to lock down and change. Because I really can't stand myself.